I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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