This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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