stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
