I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You can't motorboat a personality
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
