So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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