ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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