If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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