i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
