i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
