You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
