Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
