Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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