It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
