It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
