Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
