would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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