Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
