I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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