she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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