Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
