yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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