he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
