my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
