The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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