Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
