A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
