Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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