i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
