I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
