ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
