im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
