Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
