she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
sex in a hospital.. check
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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