I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
