He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
