i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i believe in u and ur pee
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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