He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
