i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
