so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
