this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
