when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize