Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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