Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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