Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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