Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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