Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
