it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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