they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
