U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
