Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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