Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
