i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
