i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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